The Role of Women
This is perhaps one of the greatest areas of corruption in the churches today, especially in “western” culture. Yet it is a natural progression that flows from throwing out the Bible (KJV) and its authority, and from the church trying to emulate (and appease) the world around them—rather than changing it for Christ!
As always, it is my intent to expound upon the role of women from the way God’s Word represents it. Far too much has been added to God’s instructions in this matter, as it is practiced in professing Christian churches today.
It is not my intent to offend anyone, but to merely expose the truth. Please pray before continuing, that the Holy Spirit would enable you to receive the truth of the Word (Jesus Christ).
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. James 1:19-22
Throughout the Bible, God has mightily used obedient (meek) women to reveal His character and provide proper examples of what He expects from His people. My coverage of this will be extensive, so get comfortable! Hopefully it will bless and edify you as much as it has myself.
Our world mostly operates in darkness over this topic. Western culture promotes “equal rights” for women, which actually often provides and imbalance in favor of women over men. Muslim nations openly regard and treat women as second class citizens, plainly inferior to men.
When we read from God’s Word, you will see that our Lord regards men and women as of equal value. The real issue about the role of women is one of authority; not inferiority. This is where the confusion lies (it is not of God; I Corinthians 14:33), and the fire of that confusion is greatly fueled by the actions of the world around us. Try to remember that we believers are to be in the world, but not of it—and should consider ourselves to be “strangers and pilgrims” upon the earth.
I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. John 17:14,15
Much has been added to God’s Word with regard to how churches promote the role of women. We have a fair number of conservative churches in our area that practice Biblical directives concerning this issue. Yet here and elsewhere, most organized churches practice the liberalities which are brought in from the world, through the so-called “equal rights” movement. A great defensiveness often arises if this equal rights movement is called into question. Every believer has a responsibility to walk as God has directed through His Word. Some claim the Lord’s leading, even when it violates His Holy Word! It is what they “feel” to be right.
Jesus said that a kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. Jesus is the Word, and He would never direct one of His followers to violate that Word in order to further the kingdom of God! More on this later.
Women are every bit as loved by God as any man can be. The objective must be to obey Him at His Word, and here women must submit in authority to the man (specifically the husband).
Jesus Christ is equal with God the Father, but He is secondary in authority. It is good to recognize this divine example, but in our everyday lives we find many instances of this.
During basic training, we had a 50 year old First Sergeant: a veteran of 30 years with the Army. He had to submit in authority to our 24 year old First Lieutenant who had only a few years active duty! No one would ever consider the First Sergeant an inferior soldier, just lesser in authority. Nor was there any complaint about unfair treatment!
Perhaps the Christian life does not precisely line up with the military chain of command. Yet Jesus’ authority in the believer’s life should be greater than that of any earthly leader or relationship. Jesus said that “If a man love me, he will keep my words…He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings…” (see John 14:23,24) And a friendship with God is unlike any other friendship; He is still God, and we are still His creation, separated by sin. Jesus told His disciples in John 15:14, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.”
So what are God’s instructions concerning this issue? You will be amazed at how very far away from the truth the church has drifted.
The intent God had in creation of women was to be man’s helper. This defines the very nature of what women were to be. By scripture, you will see that this has remained the same. In short, women are supposed to marry and bear children as their primary function. Please don’t shoot the watchman!
Think of how far such a Biblical view is from how we live in the U.S. today. Women are often taught to receive education and establish independent careers before considering a husband and children. Let’s look at Genesis:
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him….And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Genesis 2:18…20,21,22
If that isn’t clear enough, we can also look to the next chapter and the result of sin; God’s curse upon the woman:
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
Proverbs 31:10-31 gives us the description of a virtuous woman, so it is clearly something to emulate—let’s look at it more closely:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12
Verse 10 introduces the topic of this section of scripture, a virtuous woman (V.W.). Then we are immediately referenced to her husband, clearly implying that she will be married. Proverbs 12:4 also implies this. Please bear with me, you unmarried women—we will come to you after a bit. The V.W. is trusted by her husband, and renders good to him and not evil. Our culture in America teaches self-love, and disrespect for spouses (especially men) in general. Even among many who profess to know Christ, male leadership is the last thing taking place in the home. Honestly, how can we expect God’s blessing on our lives when we so openly disregard His Word?
He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. John 12:48
But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. James 1:25
As you will see through this study, the holy scriptures overwhelmingly point to women marrying, and being in submission to men. Read through it all; check over the passages listed, praying for discernment. If you disagree, the reasoning used must come from the Word of God alone. Now back to Proverbs 31.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:13-31
We see here that a V.W. is basically running the material aspects of the home. She makes purchases for the benefit and support of her family. She works with her hands to sew and to cook. The work of her hands may also be sold to profit by.
Verse 23 refers back to her husband once more.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23
Remember that this Proverb is written about a V.W.; therefore, the V.W. is bringing honor to her husband, and he is known by being married to a woman of great character! I’d say this is a great commendation; but it seems in America today that many women are not content with God’s plan for their service, or the rewards He designated. They have been taught this: it is time to repent and turn back to God!
Attributes of her character are: strength, honor, wisdom, kindness, hand work, and God-fearing. She will receive praise and thanks for her faithfulness in all these ways.
Ruth is the first example we will look at. Ruth was a Moabitess (country of Moab); these were not to mingle with God’s people, and were continually in contention with Israel.
An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever: Because they met you not with bread and with water in the way, when ye came forth out of Egypt; and because they hired against thee Balaam the son of Beor of Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse thee. Deuteronomy 23:3,4
Ruth submitted to the authority of the true God, and showed her commitment. To this day her words are commonly used in marriage vows among believers worldwide! Obedience brings blessing!
And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. Ruth 1:16,17
The life Ruth lives may seem unexciting to us today, but her life is a prototype to follow. The way she carried herself was a testimony for which she was praised (like in Proverbs 31:31?) by those around her. Boaz grew to love her based on these Godly attributes.
Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger? And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been showed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust. Ruth 2:10-12
Ruth followed the instructions of her God fearing mother-in-law, and subtly won the heart of Boaz.
Ruth of Moab, a people rejected by God; submitted to that same Lord God Almighty in obedience, and was approved and rewarded for her service. It was through her lineage that our savior came into this world! I’d call that a very high honor, indeed!
Abigail is also a blessed servant of the Lord, with this story found in I Samuel 25. She acted as a kind of intercessor (like Christ) between her husband and David. God used her to keep David from taking his own revenge, and to preserve her husband’s household. Please read the whole story!
Queen Esther is also a wonderful role model for a submitted life to God. Even though promoted to queen, she continued showing submission to the king, and to her uncle Mordecai, who raised her. God used her to save the Jewish people from a horrible persecution. She submitted to her uncle, submitted to the Lord by prayer and fasting, and was humble in gently approaching the King (her husband) concerning the impending persecution. Even as a queen, Esther followed the “chain of command” prescribed by God.
Mary, the earthly mother of Jesus, is another shining example. She obeyed the Lord, even though her untimely pregnancy could bring dishonor and death! It was not she who revealed it to Joseph, but God did so through an angel. God did not break the roles of authority for even this special circumstance! And when they moved, the instruction always went to Joseph the husband—not to the wife.
In I Kings 17, Elijah was sent to a widow (previously married: husband deceased) to be cared for during the draught/famine. She obeyed by serving Elijah first with the last of her food, for which God provided for her and her son throughout the drought. Her son was even returned from the dead through Elijah’s intercession to God!
II Kings 4:8-37 is the tale of Elisha and his relationship with a “great woman”—she is not named in scripture other than to be called great, and a Shunamite (geographic area). She persuaded her husband to make a room for Elisha and his servant to stay in when they passed by. She was blessed with a son for her kindness! Her son also died, but was brought back to life through Elisha’s intervention.
In both of these last two cases, women distinguished themselves through humble obedience to God. They did not try to control the situations, or direct the men involved. Most churches commonly teach their congregations to be servants, as we find instructed by Christ in Matthew 20:25-27:
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Matthew 20:25-27
If they are teaching this faithfully, why do so many women still take authority over men? It is first of all a contamination from the world around us; secondly, it is yet another example of how the last days’ churches have thrown out the Word of God (KJV) in disbelief! We must believe and live every word of God (Matthew 4:4), not just what we like! Remember that if you deny Jesus (the Word) before men, He will deny you before God the Father.
The term prophetess is found 8 times in God’s Word. Nehemiah 6:14 is one about a false prophetess, as is Revelation 2:20. The two references in II Kings and II Chronicles address the same prophetess, Huldah. Acts 21:9 tells of Phillip’s daughters who prophesied.
Exodus 15:20 calls Miriam a prophetess, and here she is leading the people in praise. No prophecies through her are mentioned. She also bore the brunt of God’s rebuke for contending with Moses in Numbers 12.
Before continuing, prophecy is defined as the prediction of future events as inspired by God. Therefore the woman would still be under male authority, and subject to testing in regard to false prophecies (see Deuteronomy 13:1-3, 18:21,22).
In Judges 4:4, Deborah is the prophetess, and her husband is named! She is not instructing from a synagogue (church), but she is sought after as she dwells under a palm tree.
In II Kings 22:14 and II Chronicles 34:22, King Josiah seeks a prophetess named Huldah. Again her husband is named, and that she dwelt at the college in Jerusalem. Again, not in church.
Isaiah 8:3 mentions the prophetess who is Isaiah’s wife. No prophecy is given from her. Would the wife of a prophet be automatically considered a prophetess? I would not assume that, yet this verse brings it to my mind. She is also not named.
Luke 2:36 mentions the widow Ana, who served God with fasting a prayer in the temple. In this setting , she does not give the primary prophecy—she only confirms Simeon’s prophecy! Another example of male authority, especially in the house of God!
Acts 21:8,9 gives reference to Philip the evangelist, and to his four virgin daughters which did prophesy. They are still under authority to their father, and their prophesying does not indicate that they will not be married one day—all the other “prophetesses” were!
Acts 9:36-41 gives another example of a Godly woman named Dorcas. She is not listed as having a husband, but we are simply not told her marital status. No doubt this is on purpose to be an example to even single women. Dorcas is described as being “full of good works” in verse 36. Verse 39 reveals that she had made coats and garments for many widows.
God provides many wonderful examples to be followed (see Hebrews 11), and does not violate His own word in doing so! A very pointed example (bad) will be shared later!
Behind the examples are the instructions God has perfectly preserved for us in His Word ( Psalms 12:6,7).
These doctrines are straight from the New Testament, with no hint that time or circumstance would ever invalidate them!
Taken in order, I Corinthians 11:3 comes first:
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. I Corinthians 11:3
This section delves into the issue of head coverings, and does so as it relates to the authority issue between men and women. If you read through verse 12, you will see a very equal level of esteem for both men and women. Being submitted to your husband is to obey God’s directive, and you will not become a slave! Don’t let peer opinion persuade you, either—serve the Lord at His Word.
Things get more serious in I Corinthians 14, a chapter about spiritual gifts. I visited a friend at his church several times, and the gift of tongues was broadcast noisily at every service. In fact, no other gifts were shown! They didn’t seem to care who walked through the door, in spite of the warnings in this chapter. Rather, several of the verses were used to justify their forthright use of “tongues.” This is typical of other gospels (Galatians 1:6) created by the devil. Isolate a few verses, ignoring or re-writing the rest.
Speaking in tongues is a blessed gift of the Holy Ghost, but it is easily imitated. Even as the magicians of Egypt could perform some of the miracles which the Lord did through Moses, Satan can bestow the gift of tongues. I also know of people who can deliberately imitate it, without seeking any spiritual influence.
Had these people used all of I Corinthians 14, perhaps they would have been obedient stewards regarding this gift. In addition to being discreet, they would have seen problems when viewing verse 34:
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. I Corinthians 14:34
Guess who was mostly speaking in tongues? It was almost always the women!
If you read this, you will see that verse 34 is not isolated, and appears to be part of a rebuke!
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only? If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord. I Corinthians 14:34-37
Doesn’t this seem clear enough? One thing I would say is that the “no speaking” instruction likely applies to congregational gatherings. Today our churches often have many rooms and classes, unlike the beginning church. So, a woman may be speaking with others in their classes within the walls of the “church” building. NOTE: when the church is addressed Biblically, it refers to the true church: the spiritual body of Christ (John 4:23). Organized churches today only refer to their building; this difference allows us to surmise that this passage was meant for a gathering of the congregation.
We find the next passage in Ephesians 5; it is a confirming and amplifying of I Corinthians 11:3.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24
More is given on this in our Mark of Divorce section. Though divorce is a focal issue, the makings of a Godly marriage are also found there. Wives, if you know Christ as your savior and Lord you must submit to your husbands. It could be an area of struggle to surrender, but keep on praying it through—and dying to yourself. Also seek the Lord deeply for wisdom (James 1:5) in how to proceed.
I Timothy chapter 2 is another extensive section concerning the role of women. Verses 9 and 10 address the appearance and adornment of women in the Lord. Then it gets deeper…
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. I Timothy 2:11,12
We are told here again about the silent submission a woman is to have while learning about Godly living. Verse 12 powerfully instructs us that women should not teach, or usurp authority over man. This again is presumably meant for operations within the church (body of Christ).
The references to women remaining silent in the church may seem harsh. For the way this instruction is used, I believe it is referring to not disrupting the gathering of the Lord’s body. In other words, it would still be acceptable to join in congregational singing because it is a unified progression of the service. My wife occasionally may ask me for a tissue or cough drop—these would not be disruptions either. Lengthy conversations, note-passing, or extensively questioning or commenting about the message during the service is what these scriptures are meant to address. It is brought forth as a command from God, so we should take it seriously!
What if you are woman, and deeply convicted about a heresy (or more) that has crept into the church you attend? God never tells you to shut up and do nothing! There is a way to do this decently and in order (I Corinthians 14:40). First you would pray and fervently seek God about the issue. Be certain you have scriptural authority to stand on. Then you go to your husband, that he may present the issue. If married, this course of action is your main one! You must submit to your husband, even if he doesn’t agree with you a first. Keep praying for him, that God would open his eyes. Go to him gently with suggestions of praying and looking into it himself. DO NOT go “over his head” to someone else! Trust the Lord to do His work.
If you are unmarried, after praying and seeking the Lord, go to a male elder of the church (outside of church) to present the issue. Perhaps you can compose a letter outlining the concern, and all the scripture related. This is the “chain of command” God has directed, and each of us must give account for our own obedience or disobedience to God’s Word. Be willing to be taught, if there is something you have missed in the scriptures.
Ultimately, if heresies continue without repentance, the Holy Spirit may lead you away from this “fellowship with unbelief” (II Corinthians 6:14-17). Unity never supercedes holiness and obedience!
Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us. II Thessalonians 3:6
The passage in I Timothy continues, showing the reasoning behind the directive.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. I Timothy 2:13,14
Verse 15 again shows us the importance of marriage and motherhood in the plan of creation for the woman’s role. Unfortunately, many use this verse to try and say that pregnancy is a saving condition! I know of one church that virtually worships the news of an expectant child as if a sinner had been saved!
First of all, bearing many children was one of the curses of the original sin in Genesis 3: God said to the woman, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception…” Secondly, all women bear children—meaning that you do not need a right, Godly relationship to become pregnant. Jesus himself gives us a right perspective:
And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it. Luke 11:27,28
Actually, this verse from I Timothy also gives us the full, correct perspective. “She shall be saved in childbearing” is only upon condition. Let’s see all of it:
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. I Timothy 2:15
So we see that faith, charity, and holiness with sobriety are the priorities upon which childbearing has any meaning.
In reviewing this section, I learned something new. The Bible actually shows us that within church gatherings, the woman is not to teach at all. Before this, I had taken it that the woman was not to teach the man. So I thought that a woman teaching women, or children, was acceptable. Read verse 12 again (KJV); what do you get from it? My own inclination to the incorrect teaching is a leftover from my time in the New American Standard Bible and the NIV. The NIV runs together the first sentence without a coma. “I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man;”. It makes it sound like “teaching and having authority” are the same thing.
The KJV separates the sentence with a coma, thereby indicating two different things. “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man,”. That one little coma designates teaching to be a separate issue from usurping authority! This was one of thousands of changes made in the NIV, and a direct attack on a doctrine.
In I Timothy 5, we find instruction for how to regard individual church members, and women are given much attention in this. Strong admonitions are brought forth here. These are meant to edify the church, and not give Satan the chance to get a foothold in the congregation. “A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.”
There is regard toward those that are “widows indeed.” This term is used in verses 3,5, and 16. What is a “widow indeed”? According to verse 5 she trusts in God, and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that lives in pleasure is dead while she lives (verse 6)! More description is given in verses 9 and 10:
Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man. Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. I Timothy 5:9,10
These are guidelines to observe in how to minister to widows. It first instructs not to take a widow into the congregation who is under sixty years old! Because this age is listed one time only, I take it as a guideline rather than a hard and fast rule. You will see that a “widow indeed” is a woman mature in faith, who is likely beyond the time of marrying and bearing children. She is evaluated by her manner of life which is reflected in good works she has done.
Younger widows are addressed next, perhaps too harshly for some.
But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I Timothy 5:11-14
Young widows need husbands and families. Today in our churches it is not only young widows, but divorcees. Bad sexual temptation is brought into churches from the women (in general) these verses describe. Remember that the true church, the spiritual body of Christ, was never meant to erect a building with an “all welcome” sign out front! Jesus’ disciples were to go into the world, make disciples, then bring them back to the church fellowship. Those congenial “all welcome” signs serve only to invite every manner of evil into churches.
Verse 11 says the younger widows will wax wanton against Christ; what does this mean? My dictionary has 8 definitions, all of which are consistent within the framework of the same notion. Wanton is undisciplined or unmanageable. Unrestrained by rules of chastity, lustful, reckless or heedless. With an utter disregard of right or consequences.
I Corinthians 5 speaks against sexual sin in the church, and tells believers to “put away from among yourselves that wicked person.” From experience I can testify to the evils of dating within the church, especially if they were previously married. Men and women were created with needs for each other, both physical and emotional. To have known and been accustomed to such intimacy, with it then being unavailable, produces deep longings within. When this happens, sin is at the door! These warnings from God should be taken seriously. And He has still made allowance for compassionate dealings with all widows.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan. I Timothy 5:14,15
This advice is basically instructing the younger women (widows or otherwise) to fulfill the role God has given them as housewives and mothers. When they do this, it takes away much of Satan’s influence toward the sinful behavior mentioned in the previous verses.
If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed. I Timothy 5:16
This is an instruction to the believers to take care of their own widows, such as close friends or family that may be affected. These would be widows not qualified to be allowed in the church; at least until they can marry and begin raising families. The church as a body would care for (expenses) only the “widows indeed”, as described earlier.
Titus also speaks of female behavior.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5
First instruction is to the aged women, and then they are to teach the younger women how to behave. Guess what? The young women are to be married with children! The way God’s Word presumes this to be the case speaks volumes. “Obedient to their own husbands” also comes up again in the instructional outline.
Our last New Testament passage is found in Peter.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. I Peter 3:1,2
It should be known that the prime meaning for conversation is “manner of life.” Conversation as spoken is also a valid meaning; but in years past it primarily referred to the way you live your life.
Many wives are reluctant to obey the Lord in submitting to their husbands, because they perceive the husband to be out of line with God’s will. Pointing out another’s flaws will never justify our own disobedience! These verses show that in fact, husbands may be won to salvation by observing your life in Christ. This does happen: become a faithful “doer of the word”, and not a “forgetful hearer”, and you will be blessed in your deeds. Trust the Lord beyond your own wisdom! (see Proverbs 3:5,6; James 1:25)
The next verses apply to appearance and behavior in both the spiritual and material ways.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. I Peter 3:3-6
Verses 3 and 4 address the outer appearance of a woman, and remind us that it is of no importance when compared to the inner condition of the soul and spirit. Modest, unprovocative attire will accompany the woman of God. When things are right within you, it will show outwardly.
The next two verses remind us of the examples God provides us in His Word. Sara’s example is the focal point. Did you know that we true believers today are spiritually also the children of Abraham and Sarah? It will be wonderful to meet them one day!
And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. Galatians 3:29
This section concludes wonderfully in verse 7:
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
The instruction here is turned back again to the husband for the regard of the wife. We men are to honor our wives with wisdom, considering that they are the weaker vessel. NOT inferior! Today’s women in the U.S. (most of them) hate being called weaker. We do not verbally accuse them of being weaker, but only consider it for the help we men may be to them. Verse 7 here plainly states that men and women are “heirs together of the grace of life.”
Few things are more precious than a new-born child. They are weaker and more helpless than our older children, yet we love them every bit as much. And when they understand more, we may tell them to listen to their older brothers and sisters. Therefore an elder sibling may have authority over the others, but each has an equal value in the parents’ eyes. So it is with men and women, as created by the all-wise God. Please don’t be offended at the Bible’s teachings. See the warning about this in Matthew 13:20,21, and John 12:48.
Perhaps the worst scenario for disobedience in this area is when a woman becomes the lead pastor of a church. As you have seen by now, God’s Holy word flatly speaks against such a thing. Still, it happens—and often may seem to be legitimate. For this you will need discernment according to the Word, to firmly stand upon the convictions you have.
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Hebrews 5:13,14
How could you come to such a disagreement with professing believers? They do not know or believe the Word, and we are told of the difference in our lives because of this, and because of the Holy Ghost.
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man. For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ. I Corinthians 2:12-16
The Bible tells us that any leader in the church (always a man) is to be the husband of one wife (I Timothy 3:12, Titus 1:6). So if a woman runs the church, is she married? We are plainly told by the Word of God (Jesus) that the husband is the head of the wife, as CHRIST is the head of the church (see Ephesians 5:22-24)! So if a woman leads a church, shouldn’t her husband tell her how to lead? This is confusion. God is not the author of confusion, verse found in I Corinthians 14:33. And the very next verse starts with, “Let your women keep silence in the churches:…” This is a powerful sequence—please bring it in consideration before the Lord.
Friends of mine attended a church led by a lady pastor. Her claim was that God couldn’t find any men who would respond to take the job; so He called her! If she fell for a lie like that, she was convinced by her father the devil (John 8:44).
(1) God never violates His Word to further His kingdom. What else could we say to the reasoning of this lady? Jesus told us that a kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. This means that God will not approve sin for “righteous” purposes! Could I have married a man if no woman wanted me? May I steal to provide for my daily bread? Should I hold hostages, threatening and hurting them until someone listens to me preach the message of salvation? Honestly, brethren—how could you violate or throw out God’s Word in an attempt to make others believe it?
(2) She never should have listened to a voice that so contradicted God’s Word. (see Deuteronomy 13:1-3)
(3) She usurped the authority of a man for pastor; and that of her husband.
(4) If no men had yet responded to the call of this pastorate, why would God lead her to be the pastor when she knew it violated His Word? Why not go to the elders; sharing this burden, and suggesting a season of prayer and fasting until the man is found?
(5) Apparently men called upon and approved her for this role; this fruit is quite revealing of this church’s true spiritual condition (see Matthew 7:21-23)! Why did she listen to them and twist Bible doctrine, if she is so “deep” spiritually?
(6) If it had gone so far, and she reluctantly agree to serve as pastor in the absence of male candidates—why did she not then direct the congregation toward earnest prayer and fasting until a male pastor was found; restoring their organized church to wholeness according to the Word?
(7) The obvious confusion about the “head” of the church, if it is the husband or the wife?
All this reasoning is only proof of what the Lord showed me many years ago: those that twist/change/ignore God’s Word do so in many areas! People often argue and say, “well it’s only one little point of disagreement.” Not so with the Word! If someone has seen fit to alter God’s instructions for them in one area, they have done it in many others! You just may not be aware of them yet. Look a little closer, and it will be plain.
He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:10
Finally, I will directly write to you single ladies (not yet married, divorcees, widows) who love the Lord Jesus Christ. You may have yet to wed, or you may re-marry at some point in the future. It is the primary purpose of the woman to be a man’s help-mate and raise a family. This is what I see from the Word of God. If you are currently single, you need not think that it is more than a temporary circumstance. God has a time for singleness and marriage.
In reality, man was also created with the need for a helper. A need that was perfectly met by God in creating woman. It is rare that any man is called to be single; but much more rare for a woman! Please pray, and carefully consider all of God’s Word—also read our section on The Mark of Divorce. This may be enough for any questions that you have.
It is possible that a few women out there have actually been called by God not to marry. Most of the time it is only an idea that others have given them, not God’s calling! Be humble. Be certain. Even if you do not marry, you must still be in subjection to male authority in Christ. In I Corinthians 7, there is one passage which allows for a woman to be led of God not to marry.
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. I Corinthians 7:34,35
To be honest with ourselves, for a woman to serve Christ without ever being married is unusual to the extreme! Don’t assume that you are the special exception—many do just that. It can only lead to temptation and sin that you never should have been exposed to. Still, it is the Lord Jesus Christ that you must serve, according to His divine purpose and calling. Don’t let anyone discourage you from that; especially not me!
Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. I Corinthians 7:23
WARNING: To avoid Satan’s snares and deceptions, return to the pure Word of God; which is the King James Bible. Revised translations are not small word alterations meant to bring clarity! Major doctrinal changes have occurred, which will tend to bring doubt and destroy your faith. To follow these new “versions” of the truth, is to build your spiritual house upon sand, and become as the ones reflected in Matthew 7:21-23. Please use this entire passage, Matthew 7:21-27.
Satan means to deceive you into sincerely following his alternate “truth.” You are really being set up to fall, and serve the antichrist.
Pray and seek God diligently in this matter; for time is short. See also our Word of God section and the section on A Sure Salvation vs. Eternal Security.